Separating from a partner you are not married to
A clear, calm walk through the law for unmarried separation in England and Wales. The frameworks that actually apply, where people get caught out, and what you can do without a solicitor - A lawyer who manages your case day to day, handles paperwork, gives legal advice, and instructs a barrister when needed. Unlike barristers, solicitors deal with you directly and handle the ongoing relationship..
Walk through the frameworkThree frameworks
- 1Trust law. Who owns the home
- 2Children Act. Provision for children
- 3Agreement. Most cases settle
No automatic settlement. Outcome depends on what you can show.
Before you start
Separating from a long-term partner is hard enough without learning, at the worst moment, that the law treats you very differently from a married couple. This page walks through the frameworks that actually apply in England and Wales: how the home is owned, what claims you can make if your name is not on the title, and how money for children is dealt with separately. It is calm, plain English, and written for the person reading it on their own.
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Start with the law you are under
English law treats cohabiting partners and married couples very differently. When you separate from someone you were not married to or in a civil partnership with, there is no automatic financial settlement: no spousal maintenance. There is no automatic share of pensions or fifty-fifty split of property bought in one name alone. Living together for years, sharing children, or pooling money does not, on its own, give either of you a claim on the other.
What the law gives you
Married
Matrimonial regime, court-led settlement, pension sharing.
Unmarried
Trust law and the Children Act. No automatic split.
Check how the home is owned
When two people own a property together, they hold it either as joint tenants (you both own the whole property, with no distinct shares) or as tenants in common (you each own a defined share, often unequal). The difference matters a great deal both on separation and on death: joint tenants pass their interest automatically to the survivor, while tenants in common can leave their share to anyone in a will.You can order your title register from HM Land Registry for a few pounds. A Form A restriction on the register means tenants in common; no restriction means joint tenants.
Title register
HM Land Registry · TN1 234567
Registered proprietors:
Jane M Doe and Alex T Doe
No Form A on file? You are joint tenants by default.
Use TOLATA where you cannot agree
The Trusts of Land and Appointment of Trustees Act 1996, usually shortened to TOLATA, is the main legal route for cohabitants who cannot agree what happens to a jointly owned home. On a TOLATA application the court can declare who owns which share (s.14), order or postpone a sale (s.14), and regulate who lives there or exclude a co-owner (ss.12-13). Occupation rent, where one party is compensated for being kept out of the property, is a separate equitable accounting remedy the court can also apply where equity requires it (Re Pavlou [1993]). The court weighs the original purpose of the home, the welfare of any children living there, and the position of any lender.
What the court can do under TOLATA
- ✓Declare each party’s share
- ✓Order or postpone sale
- ✓Regulate who lives there
- ✓Award occupation rent
When your name is not on the title
If you helped pay for a home registered in your partner's sole name, or relied on a clear promise that you would share it, you may still be able to claim a beneficial interest. The two main routes are constructive trust (used where there was a shared intention, expressed or inferred, that you would have a share) and proprietary estoppel (used where you relied on a specific promise to your detriment). Both are technical claims with a high evidential bar: courts look for direct financial contributions, significant improvements, or a clear assurance you relied on, not just paying bills or sharing housework. In proprietary estoppel cases, what the court awards varies: sometimes the full value of the promise, sometimes less, depending on what is proportionate to the detriment you suffered (Guest v Guest [2022] UKSC 27).
What evidence carries weight
- ✓Direct payment toward deposit or mortgage
- ✓Significant work on the property
- ✓Clear promise you relied on
- –Sharing housework or paying bills alone
Direct contributions carry the most weight in court.
If you have children together
Two separate frameworks deal with money for children of unmarried parents. The Child Maintenance Service calculates regular maintenance as a percentage of the paying parent's gross income, with no application fee. Schedule 1 of the Children Act 1989 handles capital provision: a lump sum, a settlement of property for the child to live in until they grow up (a settlement of property order under paragraph 1(2)(d) of Schedule 1, sometimes called a Mesher-style order), or in rare cases an outright transfer of property.Schedule 1 is provision for the child, not for you as the parent. The housing and capital usually revert to the paying parent when the child reaches independence. Applications are made on Form A1 in the Family Court, and the MIAM requirement applies before issuing.
CMS basic rate
Percentage of paying parent's gross income
- 1 child12%
- 2 children16%
- 3+ children19%
Decide what to do next
Most cohabitation disputes can be sorted without ever issuing a claim, if both parties engage. Before applying to court for a private-law child arrangements order or a financial order under Schedule 1, you must first attend a MIAM, the short Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting where a trained mediator explains your options. Exemptions apply: domestic abuse is the most common, but an open child protection enquiry or urgent risk to safety also qualifies. A mediator will confirm whether an exemption applies in your case. Read more about domestic abuse exemptions.Mediation cannot give a non-owner cohabitant rights they do not have under property law, but it can resolve practical questions like who lives where, how the contents are divided, and how a jointly owned home is sold. Read more about mediation and MIAMs.
Three ways to resolve it
- AgreementLowest cost
- MediationMIAM required
- Court / TOLATAHighest cost
What it tends to cost
Indicative ranges. Court fees and legal costs vary widely. The figures below give you a sense of magnitude, not a quote.
| Item | Cost | Note |
|---|---|---|
| Title register from HM Land Registry | £7 online (£11 postal) | Tells you joint tenants or tenants in common. Fee updated December 2024 (Land Registration Fee Order 2024). |
| Sever a joint tenancy (form SEV) | Free | No fee. Either co-owner can do it without the other’s agreement |
| MIAM (mediation assessment) | £80 – £150 | Required before most court applications. Family Mediation Voucher Scheme may cover up to £500 where children are involved. |
| Child Maintenance Service | Free to apply | Collect & Pay adds a 20% / 4% fee for non-compliant payers |
| TOLATA claim (if contested) | £10k – £50k+ | Each side. Most cases settle long before trial |
| Schedule 1 Children Act application | Varies | Highly variable. Depends on assets in dispute |
Why this is different
The usual story
You google cohabitation rights and end up on a dozen solicitor sites that all want a consultation. Every page says common law marriage is a myth, but few explain what you actually have. Nobody tells you that TOLATA is the route, what evidence carries weight, or why severing a joint tenancy might be a sensible early step.
How we do it
We tell you the frameworks in plain English: how the law treats your home, when you can make a claim, and where children change the picture. We make it clear which steps you can take yourself and which genuinely need a solicitor early. No upsell. No fake urgency.
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Other guides
This tool provides procedural information for England and Wales. It is not legal advice. If you need advice about your specific situation, speak to a solicitor or contact Citizens Advice - A national charity offering free, confidential advice on legal, financial, and other problems. They have local offices across England and Wales..